Post #133: Stomach Flu 1, Me 0

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Today is my fourth day with a vicious bout of what is almost certainly stomach flu. As such, it felt like a good time to make a list to document my experience.

THINGS I HAVE NOT DONE THE PAST FOUR DAYS:

 

  1. Gone to work
  2. Slept for longer than 2 hours without waking up cloaked in sweat
  3. Taken off this red sweatshirt I’m wearing right now
  4. Eaten an adult sized meal
  5. Had coffee
  6. Consumed an adult beverage
  7. Left my house for longer than 10 minutes
  8. Changed out of sweatpants
  9. Showered (okay, I showered this morning, but it was a solid three days)
  10. Hugged or kissed my wife
  11. Hugged or kissed my children
  12. Worn my glasses
  13. Driven a car
  14. Seen any of my friends or colleagues
  15. Read more than 2 pages of a book (no energy)
  16. Kept any food or drink in my system for longer than 90 minutes (gross, I know, but it’s true)
  17. Worried about what the mirror was telling me
  18. Put on deodorant (what’s the point?)
  19. Been able to be even a half assed parent to my two sons (praise my wife)
  20. Had a conversation longer than 5 minutes
  21. Been without a mild to severe headache
  22. Gone longer than three hours without taking my temperature
  23. Consumed a beverage (excluding water) that doesn’t end in “ADE”
  24. Had on a pair of shoes for longer than 10 minutes (see #7)
  25. Stopped thinking about how awful I felt and when, oh sweet lord, when was it going to end?

 

Keep me in your thoughts, won’t you?

 

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